Monday, July 19, 2010

Film Review: The Hitman with Chuck Norris

::Slight Spoilers::

The Hitman
Directed by Aaron Norris
Starring: Chuck Norris

This movie opens with an excellent action cliche....shots of foggy, rain soaked city streets juxtaposed with garish neon lighting. A colorful beginning. Then, Chuck Norris as a cop named Cliff Garrett and his partner appear on screen on the docks of the city. They have a short exchange of words in which Norris keeps his cool and doesn't swear while his partner is saying fuck every other word and hurling one liner after one liner at him. Norris's character Cliff sees a flicker of light in a dockside warehouse. Apparently he has a built in illegal activity sonar and goes in for the kill. He ends up straight up blasting a bunch of people.....then his relationship witb his partner takes a turn for the unexpected worse. He ends up in the hospital and pulls through by "sheer luck". Then there's more shots of slick city streets and neon lighting as the plot unfolds. Chuck goes deep undercover to take down some of the cities most ruthless criminals. He starts killing people to gain a reputation in order to take the gang down from within.

Along the way amongst other things, there are massacres and muslims being tortured by being violently force fed raw pork. Oh yea, good ol' Chuck takes time out between racking up his bodycount, to teach a little kid karate in order to defend himself from local bullies. What a guy. In another scene Chuck Norris goes down on this one gangster bitch...that's right, Chuck eats pussy! I always thought he had a squeaky clean image in spite of the fact that he's a mass murderer. The Iranian mafia comes to town attempting to carve out a niche, but runs afoul of "LaCombe" the crime boss that Chuck Norris works for. Chuck pays them a visit and tells the Iranians," If you fuck with LaCombe, he's going to take your balls and shove them up your ass". Eventually things come full circle and Chuck has another encounter with the ex-partner who betrayed him. This movie is a cut above most 80's action movies. Good characters, entertaining dialogue (another favorite line of mine,"It's your job to carve him a brand new asshole right between the fuckin' eyes.") and lots of gunplay are the standard here. I'd recommend this for any fan of 80's action movies, or fans of Chuck Norris. This is actually the first movie with Chuck that I really like. Makes me want to see what else is out there.

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